Bobby Mackey's / Thomas House Weekend

arezoo beyranvand

**The Decline of a Soul: A Heartfelt Reflection by Arezoo**

Here begins the end of me...

Not the end of my body, but the end of my soul, the end of a love that never reached its conclusion, the end of a woman who burned for everyone, yet no one ever lit a lantern for her. This is the place where I can no longer carry on, where memories, like terrifying specters, devour me, and the more I struggle, the deeper I sink into the darkness.

I am Arezoo. Once, I thought love could be a healing balm, that kindness and affection could mend wounds. But I didn’t know some wounds remain open forever, that some pains take root, not to ease, but to spread, creeping through the very fibers of a person until they’re slowly, irreparably destroyed. I no longer fear the mirror. Every time I look into it, I see a stranger's face, one that bears no resemblance to mine. Her eyes are empty, void of all hope. Her lips don’t smile—they only bear the mark of pain etched deep into her skin.

**Prisoner of Fate**

She, the woman who carried the name of Hussein’s wife, yet her heart was never his, nor her life, cast a shadow over all my happiness. She neither wanted him for herself, nor would she allow me to live with him. The only thing she sought from him was to keep him caged, trapped in a prison with no door to freedom. And me? I was nothing but an observer of this nightmare. I watched as my happiness crumbled in his cold fists, as every day she concocted an excuse to drive a wedge between us. Like a murderer wearing a smile, with each stab of her knife to my soul, she sank me deeper into the well of loneliness.

**Silent Torture**

Every night, I would pick up my phone, staring at my Instagram feed. My soul longed for a family picture, for a moment where I could share a photo of myself, Hussein, and our children with the world. But every time I tried, that woman would appear like a shadow, casting darkness over me. Every wedding anniversary, where Hussein and she were no longer together, would be forwarded to me. Every holiday, every Valentine’s Day, every occasion, their photos were passed around, like knives being thrust deeper into my old wound. But what could I say? Could Hussein ever leave her? No… Only money could break that chain, and she knew very well that he didn’t have it. She only wanted to watch me burn in this fire, silent and unyielding.

I have nothing left of myself. My tears have run dry. My heart no longer beats for the dreams I once had. All the happy moments I once built in my mind now collapse like a house on water, leaving behind nothing but a fading mirage.

**The Beginning of Decay**

And then, forgetfulness arrived.

Gradually, I forgot what I ate yesterday. Names got lost in my mind. I would find my keys in the refrigerator, my phone in my hand, searching for it. I no longer knew how old I was, or where I lived. I no longer knew why, every time I closed my eyes at night, I woke up in the morning with empty eyes. It was as if I was gradually disappearing, unnoticed by anyone.

How many times had I asked Hussein what had happened yesterday? How many times had I woken up in terror, my tears staining my cheeks, struggling to remember? But each time, the truth was more bitter than before. I was no longer me. I had become a lifeless shell, alive only in the memories of others.

**The Forgotten Name**

No one remembered who I was anymore. The woman who, when people sang of love, wrote of their pain. The woman who had left herself in words, but now even words fled from her mind.

In the mirror, I saw a woman staring back, but she was no longer me. I had gotten lost somewhere between the past and oblivion, between tears that no longer fell and sobs that had no way out. Perhaps it was time to surrender, to stop fighting, to let this forgetfulness consume me, because I had nothing left to hold on to. There were no memories left to fight for, no names to etch into my mind. I had become a ghost, wandering in a world that no longer recognized me.

**The Silent End**

In that silent house, where the only sounds were the ticking of the clock and the ragged breaths I barely took, Arezoo, the woman who had given everything and received nothing, vanished forever from this world.

And no one even asked how I died. As if I had never existed. As if I had never been anyone. Just a faint trace in memories, now forgotten, like everything else.